Leslie, what a gorgeous piece of writing, both meditative and challenging. I am haunted by that question of "can I let go of false urgencies?" and hope to write to that prompt today. Thank you for your observations about life and death, grief and gratitude.
"Our stuff isn’t who we are, but the things we acquire and create do live on after we’re gone. To what degree do such items shape our identity and give our lives meaning and enjoyment? What happens with all we receive and what we contribute? What shapes a legacy? Who’s going to deal with our stuff after we die? What do we want to leave them with?"
Love these questions. I started a Substack draft about "stuff," "sparking joy," etc., but lost the emotional thread. Perhaps I will ponder these questions, write the answers, and finish the draft. Thank you. :)
Oh, how cool! Thanks so much, Elisa, for reading and commenting. It's trippy to have my words quoted back to me, but I'm glad if they struck a cord. I've done the Kondo thing myself and found it useful. And dealing with your own stuff is one thing, but the parental part is another kind of minefield! In any case, I think you just have to devise your own system. I had a few folks suggest some tips for a big clean-out situation based on what they'd done, and they were all different approaches. I sometimes think certain items will make good memoir fodder or collage material, but there's still only so much room for storing it all. When my grandmother died and a bunch of us were clearing out her house, an aunt said something about how every item had a story (Gram was a collector). I was like, Yeah, but they're not our stories. The emotional attachments and time warpiness can be tricky for sure. And then there's George Carlin's routine about "stuff." ;)
I also wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss. I remember how it felt going through my grandmother's things when she died. Didn't have to do it for my dad (my sister handled it, bless her), but I know the day will come when we go through my mom's house, and it will be all the feelings.
Thanks so much, Elisa. Your mom is a force! The process for me has been so much like an archaeological dig (I imagine), and with a parent it's fascinating to imagine how they were before you existed. All the parts of them you don't or didn't know about. What comes to light.
I love your writing, Leslie. I feel like I just received a long letter from you. Could you feel me nodding my head in recognition and resonance? Glad for this moment with you in the ether. ❤️
Oh, Ellen, thank you so much! That is high praise, I really appreciate it. And thanks for reading the post at all. I'll take your nods from across the oceans! Or the ether ...
How I love to read your writing! I will miss seeing you now that you have moved, but I can enjoy your writing wherever you go! And I thought of you with the news of the "Murder of the Washington Post" -- your personal loss of your father, and all these other layered losses! It just seems to keep peeling and peeling away. I look to writers like you to see what will become of us! You speak to us through words and photos and poetry and snakes in cans and so much more!
Thanks so much, Cindy! I really appreciate this — taking the time to read the post but also comment. It means a lot! Yes, the WaPo bloodbath was deeply disturbing, and then the (rightful) departure of the publisher — so many good folks axed along the way, so much harm is being done in so many arenas even though some say "this too shall pass." A lot of people I know are experiencing layered losses, I know I'm not alone, but it's still challenging. Flattening. Grief is universal and particular at the same time. Words like yours help keep me going!!! I'll miss seeing you as well, maybe our paths will cross at a writers' gathering down the road. Let's stay in touch.
Leslie so glad to read this post. Your words always help me reconnect to memories of my great friends Gerry & Gary.
I have lost so many and realize my own mortality. I'm the last of my generation of family and friends. I still have moments when I want to call them and share the joy my children, grands, and great grands give me.
Ps I saw where 300 employees from W Post were layed off. My opinion it was their great loss.
Thanks so much, Dallas, for reading the post and for your heartfelt note. I know Mom and Dad really cherished you. It's so odd to be in a life chapter full of loss, I imagine, and I can relate to that urge to call and connect with those who've passed. I'm glad you can celebrate the joy of your family nonetheless. Indeed The Post cut one-third of its staff, which carries another sort of real grief — and I agree, it's the paper's and the public's loss for sure. We do love the beach, it was a move three decades in the making, so it's nice to have it be a reality now. Much love to you.
Debora! You are always so generous with your insights and feedback, I really appreciate that you took the time to read the post and share your thoughts. I'm humbled to think anything I put out there serves as a prompt, but honestly it's one of my stealth intentions. ;) So, yay! Hold the questions, right? (Thanks, Rilke.) I really appreciate you. xx
Leslie, what a gorgeous piece of writing, both meditative and challenging. I am haunted by that question of "can I let go of false urgencies?" and hope to write to that prompt today. Thank you for your observations about life and death, grief and gratitude.
"Our stuff isn’t who we are, but the things we acquire and create do live on after we’re gone. To what degree do such items shape our identity and give our lives meaning and enjoyment? What happens with all we receive and what we contribute? What shapes a legacy? Who’s going to deal with our stuff after we die? What do we want to leave them with?"
Love these questions. I started a Substack draft about "stuff," "sparking joy," etc., but lost the emotional thread. Perhaps I will ponder these questions, write the answers, and finish the draft. Thank you. :)
Oh, how cool! Thanks so much, Elisa, for reading and commenting. It's trippy to have my words quoted back to me, but I'm glad if they struck a cord. I've done the Kondo thing myself and found it useful. And dealing with your own stuff is one thing, but the parental part is another kind of minefield! In any case, I think you just have to devise your own system. I had a few folks suggest some tips for a big clean-out situation based on what they'd done, and they were all different approaches. I sometimes think certain items will make good memoir fodder or collage material, but there's still only so much room for storing it all. When my grandmother died and a bunch of us were clearing out her house, an aunt said something about how every item had a story (Gram was a collector). I was like, Yeah, but they're not our stories. The emotional attachments and time warpiness can be tricky for sure. And then there's George Carlin's routine about "stuff." ;)
I also wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss. I remember how it felt going through my grandmother's things when she died. Didn't have to do it for my dad (my sister handled it, bless her), but I know the day will come when we go through my mom's house, and it will be all the feelings.
Thanks so much, Elisa. Your mom is a force! The process for me has been so much like an archaeological dig (I imagine), and with a parent it's fascinating to imagine how they were before you existed. All the parts of them you don't or didn't know about. What comes to light.
I love your writing, Leslie. I feel like I just received a long letter from you. Could you feel me nodding my head in recognition and resonance? Glad for this moment with you in the ether. ❤️
Oh, Ellen, thank you so much! That is high praise, I really appreciate it. And thanks for reading the post at all. I'll take your nods from across the oceans! Or the ether ...
How I love to read your writing! I will miss seeing you now that you have moved, but I can enjoy your writing wherever you go! And I thought of you with the news of the "Murder of the Washington Post" -- your personal loss of your father, and all these other layered losses! It just seems to keep peeling and peeling away. I look to writers like you to see what will become of us! You speak to us through words and photos and poetry and snakes in cans and so much more!
Thanks so much, Cindy! I really appreciate this — taking the time to read the post but also comment. It means a lot! Yes, the WaPo bloodbath was deeply disturbing, and then the (rightful) departure of the publisher — so many good folks axed along the way, so much harm is being done in so many arenas even though some say "this too shall pass." A lot of people I know are experiencing layered losses, I know I'm not alone, but it's still challenging. Flattening. Grief is universal and particular at the same time. Words like yours help keep me going!!! I'll miss seeing you as well, maybe our paths will cross at a writers' gathering down the road. Let's stay in touch.
Sorry for your loss. This took me back to my own parents' passing and the echoes they leave behind. ❤️
Thanks, Beth, and I'm sorry for your losses as well. Even though it's the natural order of things, it's still quite a huge thing!
Very true...
Leslie so glad to read this post. Your words always help me reconnect to memories of my great friends Gerry & Gary.
I have lost so many and realize my own mortality. I'm the last of my generation of family and friends. I still have moments when I want to call them and share the joy my children, grands, and great grands give me.
Ps I saw where 300 employees from W Post were layed off. My opinion it was their great loss.
Glad you love the beach. God bless. 😍
Thanks so much, Dallas, for reading the post and for your heartfelt note. I know Mom and Dad really cherished you. It's so odd to be in a life chapter full of loss, I imagine, and I can relate to that urge to call and connect with those who've passed. I'm glad you can celebrate the joy of your family nonetheless. Indeed The Post cut one-third of its staff, which carries another sort of real grief — and I agree, it's the paper's and the public's loss for sure. We do love the beach, it was a move three decades in the making, so it's nice to have it be a reality now. Much love to you.
Debora! You are always so generous with your insights and feedback, I really appreciate that you took the time to read the post and share your thoughts. I'm humbled to think anything I put out there serves as a prompt, but honestly it's one of my stealth intentions. ;) So, yay! Hold the questions, right? (Thanks, Rilke.) I really appreciate you. xx